After finding out about Physical 100, I lost a good two weeks of my life lusting after unattainable men.
I’ve come to realize that a variety of body types are sexy to me, but I really took an interest in finding out which sports — and what types of training — these folks do.
Particularly the hottest of the hotties. I found about four or five hunks that I plan on Instagram-stalking for a couple of weeks until I forget about them entirely by mid-May. Right on schedule.
To my surprise — and mild horror — I realized I had no idea that MMA fighters were lethally sexy. I’ve never been that into abs and pectorals — not as a primary requirement, I should say. But I promptly began lusting in my heart after watching these guys grapple and run and flex and do all sorts of strength-related stuff.
I was the living embodiment of an In Living Color: Men On … Sports sketch. I was wilting internally as I thought about the streennnnnth of these MMA men.
I Googled a couple of them, admired their rippling muscles, and then reminded myself that most MMA fighters are probably headed directly toward another big abbreviatory battle: CTE.
UFCTE? Yikes. Yiiiiiiiikes.
I realized that I would be worried about my hypothetical boyfriend’s health all of the time. I would worry about the injuries and the long-term effects on his health. I would be too afraid to get into a long-term relationship with an MMA player, even though I suppose a ships-in-the-night situation is still on the table. 🤫
But just as I was about to quit searching for information on CTE and MMA fighters, I found out about the Power Slap League.
Now, I’m the same woman who said I would rather play two sets of jai alai without a helmet than to play two minutes of pickleball. But … why?
The whole damn thing is a mess. The head injuries. The poor compensation. The lack of recognition. The limited cross-over potential. The poor compensation.
And circling back to earlier themes, it’s not even that sexy.
😬
Jamais Mayville 