Shorter Posts – Page 5 – Jamais Mayville

Tasty Treats

I’m trying to eat Bauducco wafers while writing (and revising) from the comfort of my bed, and I’m failing miserably.

My bedroom looks like a sawmill. There are so many teeny-weeny flakes of golden crumbs that it looks like sawdust. Or glitter.

Vanilla-flavored glitter. Mmmmmmm.

Then again, the flakes make my bed look like it has cradle cap. Eeeeeeeeeeewww.

Food has been giving me trouble this morning. Earlier, I said Harby’s when I was trying to say Hardee’s.

Please don’t blame me when Arby’s-Hardee’s fusion food becomes a trend in 2024. I don’t want to eat a Roast Beef Gyro Goodburger Thickburger, either.

Af-Flix-ion

Me: I’m looking for a documentary about —

Netflix: Got it, friend! 😎

Me: … okay. The documentary doesn’t involve crime or celebrities, right?

Netflix: Uhhhh. Let me look again.

Me: I’m just looking for something about, like, an obscure moment in history, or a scandal in a competition, or a person who makes cool sculptures, or the rise and fall of KMart, or —

Netflix: Yeah. We don’t do stuff like that. We have Kaled Over: Death of A Vegan Pizza Heiress and Load€d: The Big ₩ild Bit¢oin $tory.

Netflix: Take it or leave it.

Please Be Kind — And Help Me Find My Mind

Over the past four years, I’ve lost my mind.

Before the pandemic, I was a normal person, and a normal coworker — if a bit quiet and shy. But in the wake of stressful times, I’ve become completely anxious and overly-precise. I’m not too particular when it comes to other people — but I constantly chastise myself.

I’ve also become dull-witted, tongue-tied, and poorly spoken. I used to be able to make jokes, but now, I just sit with my anxious thoughts. I feel like even my voice sounds weak and sad, when it used to sound so … warm and full of life.

Sometimes, I hope and pray that I’ll win the lottery – even when I haven’t bought a ticket. Just so I can start over somewhere else, where no one knows me. Just so I can reinvent myself — this time, as a happy person.

A Good Thing

The best part of living in this town?

The coolest person you know — someone who you admire, someone who you’re jealous of, someone who you want to impress — will never, ever want to move here.

You will never run out of the house with unbrushed hair (or unbrushed teeth!) and unexpectedly bump into them in Walmart or Save A Lot. It just won’t happen!

Not so bad, right?!

A Brief Post That Has Nothing To Do With Mayville

Thank God that Lee Dong Wook invented glasses, because (1) I need to wear them and (2) he looks so good in them. Well done!

Those glasses he had on at Sunny’s restaurant, back when he was in Goblin? Sheeeeeesh. That man was fine as frog’s hair. Mmmmmmmmmm-mmmmm.

A Brush With Fame

Several years ago, an author from our town — an excellent writer, a writer who’s critically-acclaimed and commercially successful — wrote a book that was so riveting, they decided to turn it into a movie. And when they were looking for a place to film that movie, they settled on filming in the author’s hometown.

This place. This … wild and unforgiving place.

There isn’t much scenery around here — which is kind of the point of making a movie here. Sad story turned into a sad movie set in a sad town. The movie is …

Well, it’s not bleak. It’s not Winter’s Bone. But it’s supposed to be emotional, not sensual, sexual, or conceptual. Emotional.

There’s only room for one -al in this town, baby!

This town, it’s not in the mountains or by the water. There is a creek, but the only people I’ve seen in the creek are vagrants, to use an all-encompassing and decidedly more quaint term.

But … yeah. That’s all there is to say about that. A less-than-remarkable town, which served as the setting for a novel and a movie.

That’s ~~pretty~~ kind of cool, right?

And now, in 2023, it’s inspired a blog. Welcome to the digital age, Mayville! Our town is a microcosm, but the web is world wide!