Judge of Character

For every person around here who sucks, there’s usually an explanation for their behavior. Not always — but more often than not.

I don’t mean an excuse — I just mean an explanation. I tend to consider that first, now that I’m older. I can figure out — either through recognition or through gossip — whether someone had a terrible childhood, an abusive relationship, a history of addiction, or some combination of these.

So I’ve learned to shut up — about some things. If I see racism or prejudice or some other shitty bullshit behavior, I still say something. But if I just see a miserable sadsack walking around with their crack* showing, then I try to realize that this person is probably just used to living like that.

That’s actually one of the reasons why I won’t settle in a relationship. I know that there’s a bigger, better world out there. And I know that most people around here have been beaten down by life — in a different corner of the world, their life might be much, much better.

Or worse, perhaps. That’s also possible. But the point still stands.

So I think about the folks I see around here, and I feel a degree of protectiveness for my brothers and sisters. These people are struggling. And I don’t look down on them — I look across the way at them, and I tell myself, “This is what the world has done to us, has made for us, and we can all try to be better. But we’re all just working with what we have.”

* Of the bottom variety. Not the nose candy variety.